kenape entah perlu teringat. rasanya tidak perlu dan tidak patut. memang salah sekali. tapi kenapa sekarang pula? aku memang tidak hendak. mungkin adela hendak sedikit. tapi sikit je tapi. tidak hendak lagi banyak dari hendak. jadi, tidak hendak la. tapi lagi akhir-akhir ini, sejak satu dua hari ni, teringat sangat-sangat plak. keadaan ini pernah terjadi dulu, pernah mengikut kehendak, seperti berada di atas awan(walaupun tak tahu cane rase dok atas awan, maybe rase cam bile lalu awan dalam kapal terbang kot. ceh padahal tak rase pape pon dalam tuh), dan komplikasi terjadi, keadaan mengada-ngada lemah jiwe kacau, dan akhirnya tidak gembira selama-lamanya(not happily ever after). kata orang, ikut hati mati, ikut rasa binasa. nasib baik aku tak mati lah time tu. dan syukurlah tidak binasa juga . yang mati mungkin hati. dan yang binasa itu perasaan. hati yang mati belum boleh dihidupkan kembali. cuma perasaan yang binasa itu mungkin, mungkin sedikit sebanyak telah menjadi elok sedikit. mungkin elok banyak dan terbina kembali. terima kasih kerana itu walaubagaimanapun.
persoalannya sekarang, perlu dilayankah atau ditidak-pedulikan aje?
yeah right. it's already the 2nd day of new year; 2010. My new year begins with a beauty sleep. A good way to start, no?haha. The fact that I am now in KB leaving me with no choice but to sleep while others were celebrating new prosperous, blissful(hopefully) year joyfully. I dont even know if there were some kind of celebration or at least fireworks at 12am, 1st Jan 2010. Is it allowed here(KB) or not? other reason for not celebrating new year is that I dont have that many friends to hang out here. So, most of the time i just chill at home with family.
ok, moving on to my new year's resolutions, there are so much that I want to do but lets just get on with what I need to do this year. and the list goes as below:-
1) to be a better muslim.
2) to finish my degree by the end of may/early june.(this is a must actually)
3) to start working as an engineer by the of the year.
4) to SMILE more. so if you see me smiling at you, just smile back, i'm not crazy.
5) potong level barnbuddy FARHANA KAMARUDIN! this is serious!
I have more, but lets just focus on these top fivesss!
GOODLUCK PAKU!
p/s: i wrote this on 2nd jan but it stayed as draft until just now. hehe
Actually, all the times. Haha. Especially when I say I’m on diet. The word “diet” for me means to eat triples my usual meal. I would actually take the diet meal plus the usual meal and also the snacks. For example, my diet menu for breakfast is chicken nuggets or 3in1 cereal drink. But my mom will buy nasi berlauk – nasi with gulai ikan or aym; nasi kerabu; for herself, but then tell me to eat them because she wants to eat something else. I, being an obedient daughter *ehem* will happily eat the nasik berlauk. Bear in mind here that the food will go into the dustbin if I don’t eat them because there is no one else other than my ummi and me. But after im done gobbling all the food down to my big stomach, I will regret doing so. I should just give the nasik to the kucings. I am so not going to lose weight if I keep on doing this. And that is just for breakfast. The same goes to lunch and tea and dinner and supper. *sighhh*. I just can’t stop munching. Things are getting worse when im at home as I can get food anytime, there is always something in the cabinet. And my tummy is getting bigger and bigger every day. If you say I should workout in order to balance my eating habit and my weight, please get me a partner. I tend to skip exercise if im alone, no one to push me to workout. I did workout for like 2days? And then my lazy ass told my brain to just eat n we will workout later. Unfortunately, my brain is so stupid to not make wise decision and believe that. Grrrr!
Some people told me that I am not fat so why I should go on diet and do exercise somemore? Obviously these some people just met me. How can I not be fat when my aunties and uncles and cousins, mistaken me as my big sister? Not to say that she is fat, but she was. Now she has slimmed down a bit. I think a lot actually. Or maybe im the one who put on so much weight. Friends who know me since high school said that I am getting fat. Pfffttttt! But it’s true hehe. Yeah good friends will always tell the truth. Don’t they?
Ok2 I know I am not that fat, not that I suffer from obesity or what. The problem is, all my clothes seems to be shrinking haha. Not comfortable when wearing them anymore. And I could see all the ‘spare tyres’ hanging here and there and and my arms, they are sooo huge! No kidding. I don’t want to be so skinny like Nicole in ANTM13. I am more than satisfied to have firm and a bit tone tummy and arms and hips like erm.. Jessica Alba maybe? But not Madonna please. Hers is scary. Too much of working out and less food make her looks like bones with muscles covered by skin. No flesh at all. Hahaha. Euwww tak selera langsung tgk.
from left: bFF hana, belle, paku, hana
this picture was taken 3years back i think . 2006 when we were in our 1st yr hehe muke kanak2 lagi sume pon. As you can see, my face is still thin and so as my arms and yess flat tummy! I want this back! and oh, please notice that I have no pimples at all. but that was then.
p/s: peke selebet xleh blah hahahha!
from left: sis sapat, cuz sarah, paku,
front: cuz adib
and this is my now. pic was taken just recently during aidilfitri09.Full-moon-face there I have and the rest of my body you couldnt see its enlargement thanks to my mini kurung. hehe. Thats why I loveee wearing baju kurung. haha!
youknowwho
auww sexayyy rite??! oh oh, Im gonna go do crunch 100times now !
kakak: bestnye la rase nk mkn lg prosperity daging. ngan curly fries. nyum2.. emak: tp masin la curly flies die.. kakak, saya& adik: hahahahahahhahhahaha curly flies !
2012 sangat best! sila lah pergi tengok laju-laju. jangan slow-slow nanti tiket abes. laju-laju tau? tapi kalau kamu ade paper di esok hari janganlah pergi laju-laju lagi. selepas habis paper baru laju-laju pergi ok? ingat laju-laju ye. oh, sekarang tengah final exam. saya ada satu paper saje lagi iaitu pada hari sabtu nanti. jangan risau, esok saya akan mulakan sesi pembelajaran tanpa henti secara laju-laju. sekarang semua pun kene laju-laju kamu tahu? makan durian pun kena laju-laju. kalau tak nanti habis kawan2 kamu yang makan laju-laju tu habiskn. kesiannn kamu. laju-laju saya mahu pergi beradu supaya esok pagi laju-laju saya boleh mula belajar. PAGI OK PAGI. bukan petang atau malam. pagi disini bermaksud selepas pukul7 sebelum pukul9. semoga saya bangun pagi laju-laju selaju langkah seorang gadis sihat! x0x0~
